"This is where it stops. This is the end of it"
"I already have a child, and it's me"
One of the most delightful parts of being a parent is the way children are always trying to snag you into playing.
"It makes me feel like I'm a real winner."
"And no one was applauding me."
Under the best circumstances, it's hard. If you have to teach yourself from scratch, it's even harder.
Parents often have sensual feelings toward their children. Don't talk about them with your child. If you do, you will be sexually abusing your child.
When survivors are forced to confront the fact that their children are being abused, they sometimes freeze and are unable to act.
"As a victim the thing I've been trained to fear most is confrontation. "
Children spend time in situations and with people you cannot control. You must prepare them as best you can, take a deep breath, and let them go.
Dealing with your family of origin or your abuser:
You do not owe the molester an opportunity to have a relationship with your child, just as you do not owe your child the opportunity to bond with a child molester. Let the abuse have the repercussions it merits.
Maintaining an illusion about the abuse protects the abuser and reinforces secrecy as a family pattern.
If you're relatives are unsuitable as a healthy extended family, consider friends who can be loving companions and role models for your children.
It's your responsibility to take control and use your appropriate power.
Economic dependency and fear do not justify sacrificing your children.
Reuniting the family is acceptable only if it is truly in the child's best interests.
Is far better for a child to live in a difficult- or even dire- economic situation with one nurturing, protective parent than to live with an abuser.
"Someone had to stop the cycle. And I did."