What about forgiveness? The only necessity as far as healing is concerned is forgiving yourself.

You may never reach an attitude of forgiveness, and that's perfectly all right.

"Why should you? First they steal everything else from you and then they want forgiveness too?  Let them get their own. You've given enough. "

You are not more moral or courageous if you forgive.

It is insulting to suggest any survivor that he/she should forgive the person who abused her.

The issue of forgiveness is one that will be pressed on you again and again by people who are uncomfortable with your rage or want to have you back under their control.

You should not let anyone talk you into trading in your anger for the "higher good" of forgiveness.

Trying to forgive is a futile short-circuit of the healing process. Trying to speed things along so you can 'get to the forgiveness'  is one of the fastest ways to undercut yourself.

It is not the grand prize. Is only a by-product. And it's not even a very important one.

Forgiveness of yourself is what's important.

" Bastard. He took my soul, and I don't have to give a shit but it might've happened to him. It happened to me and I didn't do it to my kids! That excuse is bullshit. It's pure shit."

The only forgiveness that is essential is for yourself. You must forgive yourself for having needed, for having been small. You must forgive yourself for coping the best you could.

You must forgive yourself for the limitations you've lived with as an adult.

You must forgive yourself for repeating your victimization.

You must forgive yourself for needing time, to heal now, and you must give yourself, as generously as you can, all your compassion and understanding, so you can direct your attention and energy toward your own healing.

This forgiveness is what's essential.

 

 

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