Anger Is The Backbone Of Healing

If you don't physically fight, you may pick verbal fights or look for things to criticize.

Even though it isn't violent, verbal abuse is destructive.

Place the responsibility and your anger clearly on the abuser.

Imagine a child you love being treated the way you were treated.

Mothers of abused children are often fearful, self protective, and denying. If your mother did not listen when you tried to tell her, did not leave an abusive or alcoholic man, you have a right to hold her responsible.

It's important to make the distinction between the experience of feeling angry and the expression of that anger.

Physically taking an angry stance, making menacing gestures and facial expressions, invites genuine anger to rise.

As you welcome your anger and become familiar with it, you can direct it to meet your needs like an experienced rider controlling a powerful horse.

Anger and love are not incompatible.

You forfeit nothing of your past by getting angry: except your illusion of the abuser as innocent.

Anger obsesses only when it is repressed  and misplaced. When you meet your anger openly naming it, knowing it, directing it appropriately - you are liberated.

Many survivors have strong feelings of wanting to get back at the people who hurt them so terribly...

Wanting revenge is a natural impulse, a sane response.

Suing your abuser and turning him into the authorities are just two of the avenues open.

Sometimes the best revenge is living well.

"It was the beginning of me not blaming myself."

Dance an anger dance.

"That's when my father stopped being more powerful than I was."

Someone else's anger can help you experience your own.

As you become more familiar with experiencing and expressing your anger, it can become a part of every day life. When it's not so pent-up, it stops being a dangerous monster and takes it's place as one of many feelings.

Anger can be so safe that even children aren't scared by it.

Focusing anger precisely “onto the abuser and away from yourself clears the way for self acceptance, self nurturing, and positive action in the world.