Strength Office 652
“ Suffering might be alright for saints…but, it certainly didn’t appeal to us”.
AA 12x12
In that most venerable electronic tome, The Internet, suffering is defined as “pain, difficulty, distress or hardship”.
Antonyms are “contentment, joy, health and peace.”
My favorite saint, Augustine, said “The greatest evil is physical pain.”
I am not sure that that is true, but even if it is, let’s dial it down a bit and deal with something that is not “the greatest evil”, but is probably much more common…emotional pain, which would then be, according to Augustine’s rubric…just sort of a medium-sized evil.
I don’t like feeling, needy, hurt, sad, lonely, fear, shame, guilt, depression, paranoid, frustrated, bitter, despair, confused or doubtful.
It “certainly doesn’t appeal to me”.
I like feeling healthy, well-exercised, well-slept, funny, excited, peaceful, joyous, safe, satiate…you get the picture.
But, if I want to stay free of addiction, which does eventually bring on physical pain (and therefore the greatest evil) I need to be willing to endure some moderate evil…without acting out.
“It certainly doesn’t appeal to me”, but I can handle it…as long as I hang around with you guys.
Strength Office 653
I have to “change my playgrounds, playmates and playthings”.
Old 12 step slogan
When I got into sex addiction recovery I had to sift through my AA friends carefully to be able to discuss openly what was going on with me sexually.
When I got interested in recovering from all addictions I had to sift through my sex and food addiction recovery friends carefully.
I spent an hour at night before last night with a man who I knew five years ago in Sexaholics Anonymous and Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous.
I set a boundary with him back then because of his unattended ACA rage…I need to maintain that boundary.
I have my own work to do on myself and I need to feel safe to do that.
Strength Office 654
How to find God:
There is no one thing that I do to find God.
God is found through a series of actions, like a combination lock.
So, for me:
meetings,
sponsorship,
service,
reading literature,
step work,
meditation,
weighing and measuring my food,
exercising,
writing my food down,
anonymity,
writing literature,
searching for and finding my soul,
all, collectively, create the neuro-chemical aptitude to perceive God.
Strength Office 655
“America’s health care system is neither healthy, caring, nor a system.”
Walter Cronkite…
The mental health care system is insurance based so there necessarily must be something wrong to get paid.
But what if we looked at what creates positive mental health.
For me, nothing beats my brain into a manageable shape faster than a decision to be chaste for a finite period.
As a sex addict I had grappling hooks which were always extended to people of the female persuasion.
As a sober sex addict, those grappling hooks are always mildly, gently open, towards my wife….in an effort to be moderate, mind you.
But, when I ask her if she will agree to a period of chastity…I quietly put away those grappling hooks and shut the doors.
…And then my brain is healthy as it’s going to get in this life.