If you can't laugh about sex, you shouldn't be doing it.
Sue Johanson
Chastity - the most unnatural of all the sexual perversions.
Aldous Huxley
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food.
He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
Johnny Carson
Of all the sexual aberrations, perhaps the most peculiar is chastity.
Remy de Gourmont
Sex is a bad thing because it rumples the clothes.
Jackie Kennedy
Sex without love is a meaningless experience,
but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
Anonymous
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
Billy Crystal
Diamonds are a girl's best friend, and dogs are a man's best friend.
Now you know which sex has more sense.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
George Burns
Humans love sex, we need sex, it's how we connect, it reminds us we're alive, it's the third most basic human need…after food and good movie popcorn.
Billy Crystal
I know nothing about sex…because I was always married.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour.I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
Erma Bombeck
Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.
Lewis Grizzard
If you don’t know whether or not what your doing sexually is really acting out…ask your wife
Sexaholics Anonymous
I practice safe sex - I use an airbag.
Garry Shandling
Reason and justice tell me there's more love for humanity in electricity and steam than in chastity and vegetarianism.
Anton Chekhov
Reading a novel in which all characters illustrate patience, hard work, chastity, and delayed gratification could be a pretty dull experience.
Thomas Perry
My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
Rodney Dangerfield
Tax cuts are like sex: When they are good, they are very, very good. And when they are bad, they are still pretty good.
M. Stanton Evans
Sex is dirty…save it for someone you love
Catholic Cathchesim
My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.
Les Dawson