Rule # 62.5.2
I’ve noticed in the last several weeks that every time I can’t find something, or that something doesn’t work, in my mind, ever so silently…I blame my wife.
About the same time, a package came in from Amazon and the first thing I did was hand it to her and asked her to open it.
I’ve always been very independent of my partners, but with my wife I’ve allowed her to get in, in ways like never before… But I’ve gone too far.
I can open my own damn Amazon boxes… What’s wrong with me?
Rule # 62.5.3
I drove 600 miles in one sitting from Joshua Tree Desert to San Francisco and arrived home at 4:00am.
Gummy and Alona were asleep in the back and I was listening to all the three dozen country love songs I’ve taught Alona.
I was crying like a child.
I love my wife just as much today as I did five years ago.
Rule # 62.5.4
At Christmas in San Francisco everyone leaves town to see their families…It’s a ghost town. It’s perfectly beautiful.
My wife was missing all the people that she shared Christmas with in the Philippines.
Gummy and I went shopping and bought three nice gifts, a mushy-mushy card and a very extravagant gift. It cheered her greatly to see how much we loved her.
We talked about our 50 days of chastity. She said she could “take it or leave it”. She experiences a “neutrality” during chastity, as the Big Book says.
I said I was getting tremendous benefits: I could stop eating whenever I wanted, I have four or five extra hours in the day because I don’t need as much sleep, and I’m getting up at four in the morning.
She asked me what I wanted for Christmas…
And what I really wanted was 60 more days of Chasity…so she said OK.
Merry Christmas Steve
Rule # 62.5.5
I talked to Matt D. Administrative Director of All Addictions Anonymous today and asked him about his experience with suicides in his program.
He said he had had two.
The latest one was a drug addict, sex addict and when he killed himself his wife came after Matt, within 24 hours, and threatened to go to the New York Times expose him for his negligence.
When people kill themselves in 12 step, friends and family find it hard to accept that this guy was just a “garden-variety” selfish addict.
They need someone to blame. Otherwise, they would have to feel angry with the addict…and that level of maturity is rare in the grieving.
Rule # 62.5.6
Christmas Eve 2021
Attempted, and failed, Step 9 to my second ex-wife:
While there is something specific I would like to make amends to you for, if you ever felt reasonably safe and comfortable talking again, I need to ask you for something:
The woman I am married to is a Filipino and, in 1519, Magellan and his roving Spanish Conquistadors conquered their country and gave them a choice “ Believe that Jesus Christ is the only Son of God…or we will take away all your white rice and starve you to death”.
As a result, to this day, the Philippines is 94% Christian. They love their white rice…
My first marriage was to a Catholic woman , Jennifer’s mom, and it was easy for the Catholic Church to process an annulment for her…but our marriage, with your mother being Jewish, required more paperwork than was possible in the 90 days before her fiancé expired, so we had a civil wedding on the steps of City Hall.
While I have absolutely no right to ask you for anything (You putting up with me for 5 years alone would qualify you for sainthood) I am asking you to forgive me for whatever harm I have done you and sign papers that would permit me to give the gift of a proper Catholic marriage to her .
Again, if you feel comfortable after 20 years, I would like to make amends to you
Steve D.
Postscript: NADA