1. Media addiction

Step 1 - I admit I am powerless over my sex addiction-that my life has become unmanageable.

Powerlessness:

1. How many times and in how many ways have I tried to stop or control my sex addiction?

2. How have I been dishonest with others and myself and how have I tried to hide these behaviors?

3. How have I tried to justify, rationalize or explain my behaviors to others and myself?

Unmanageability:

How has my addiction affected the following aspects of my life?

. 1)  My feelings?

. 2)  My physical/mental health?

. 3)My spirituality?

. 4)  My relationship with myself (integrity, self-respect and self-esteem)?

. 5)  My relationships with family and friends?

. 6)  My finances/career/education?

Hitting Bottom - What specific event in my life has convinced me that I’ve hit bottom and that I cannot continue to live as I have been living?

Humility 

Indeed, the attainment of greater humility is the foundation principle of each of AA's 12 steps...

For without some degree of humility, no alcoholic can stay sober at all.

Humility, as a word and an ideal, has a very bad time of it in our world.

Many people haven't even a nodding acquaintance with humility as a way of life.

In all these strivings, so many of them well intentioned, our crippling handicap had been our lack of humility. We had lacked the perspective to see that character building and spiritual values had to come first, and that material satisfactions were not the purpose of living.

That basic ingredient of all humility, a desire to seek and do God's will, was missing.

We began to feel humility as something more than a condition of groveling despair.

So it is that we first see humility as a necessity.

To get completely away from our aversion to the idea of being humble, to gain a vision of humility as the avenue to true freedom of the human spirit, to be willing to work for humility as something to be desired for itself, takes most of us a long, long time.

We may still have no very high opinion of humility as a desirable personal virtue, but we do recognize it as a necessary aid to our survival.

…our thinking about humility commences to have a wider meaning.

Where humility had formerly stood for a forced feeding on humble pie, it now begins to mean the nourishing ingredient which can give us serenity.

This improved perception of humility starts another revolutionary change in our outlook.

Everywhere we saw failure and misery transformed by humility into priceless assets.

We heard story after story of how humility had brought strength out of weakness.

It brought a measure of humility, which we soon discovered to be a healer of pain.

We began to fear pain less, and desire humility more than ever.

During this process of learning more about humility, the most profound result of all was the change in our attitude toward God.

We saw we needn't always be bludgeoned and beaten into humility.

A great turning point in our lives came when we sought for humility as something we really wanted, rather than as something we must have.

The Seventh step is where we make the change in our attitude which permits us, with humility as our guide, to move out from ourselves toward others and toward God.

The whole emphasis of Step Seven is on humility.

It is really saying to us that we now ought to be willing to try humility in seeking the removal of our other shortcomings just as we did when we admitted we were powerless over alcohol, and came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

If that degree of humility could enable us to find the grace by which such a deadly obsession could be banished, then there must be hope of the same result respecting  any other problem we could possibly have

...humility and intellect could be compatible, provided we placed humility first.

We soon concluded that whatever price in humility we must pay, we would pay.

We supposed we had humility when we really hadn't.

True humility and an open mind can lead us to faith.

...only by being willing to take advice and accept direction could we set foot on the road to straight thinking, solid honesty and genuine humilty.

...when humility and serenity are so combined, something of great moment is apt to occur.

True ambition is the deep desire to live usefully and walk humbly under the grace of God.

Humility is truth.

Humility is a byproduct of honesty.

Humility is...being honest with myself around my limits.

Socrates

Rule #62 ...in Chastity

“We do not conform to other people's ideas of happiness or contentment.”  ...5th Promise of Chastity

One of the sideband benefits of being willing to do some chastity is the development of the ability to think independently. I mean, let’s face it, chastity is a bit counter-cultural since the 1960’s.

Some people I know like expensive cars, large homes, exquisite vacations, Neiman Marcus and Gucci. vintage guitars, jewelry, equities.

Socrates said something that really strikes me as true:

“Leisure is the most valuable of possessions”.

I have spent 21 years of my life raising my daughter and 3 years of my life raising my son, both of whom I got sole custody of.

There’s not only no money in raising children, it’s actually quite expensive.

But, tooling around with my children is “my idea of happiness and contentment”.

....I guess I’m just a chick at heart.

Useful Slogans in Chastity

These slogans might help you stay chaste today. This is an elective, not a requirement. The requirement is no masturbation and faithfulness to your partner. Chastity is purely spiritual extra credit.

"Don't be like the horse or the mule." This is from Psalm 32. It means don't be stupid. If nothing else, chastity keeps you from cheating on your wife.

"No sex except within a marriage". This is from the Sexaholic's White Book. People have very strong beliefs, pro and con about that book, but this slogan might keep you out of trouble, for a day, or even just three hours.

Doesn't really matter...you're not going to get married that day, but you might stay sober.

"I surrender my right to be sexual". This is old school SLAA, which says that you have to go through "Withdrawal" to call yourself sober...Their rules.

"A vow of chastity"...just for today. From Gandhi, who had a pretty severe sexual program...but look what he did with his life.

"No sex except to create children".  If you like the AAA's adherence to the principle of "Absolute Purity"...this is the ultimate.

"I Surrender". Old school AA...just give up and rely on God.

"There are those who choose to live like Eunuchs to know the Kingdom of Heaven" Matt 19:11-12 .This is a pretty Big Promise, but that's what Jesus said...in his very least quoted line. There are many people who don't believe in an afterlife. What we believe is that each of us has a soul, just like it says in Psalm 23. We just believe you can access it, now...if you surrender enough addictions.

"Control of the palate is the first essential in the observation of the vow". This is Gandhi saying that if you allow yourself to feel hungry, that need will supersede your desire to be sexual. Not much of anyone of us on this site is trying to stop having sex forever, including me. But, there are times when being sexually abstinent is useful, sometimes critical, and attention to diet can help sometime increase the possibility of success.

"Acceptance is being positive". When I am being chaste it is very easy, unconsciously, to fall into self-pity. "Poor me! I can't have sex!" But, I do have control over my attitude. I can be positive about what I do have...instead of feeling sorry for myself about what I don't have.

"Do not give your strength to women, your vigor to those who ruin kings" and "Keep a path far from her, lest you give your best strength to others" These two expressions were both written by Solomon, who many people consider the wisest man in Jewish, Muslim and Christian history. What does he mean, "Your best strength"? Think about it. Think about when you are attracted to a woman. Think about the incredible presence, flexibility, amiability, generosity and humor you display...before you have had sex with her. That's what he's talking about. That strength is given to us to attract a mate...but it can be bottled, stored up and used for very different  and varied purposes.

"When should you have sex with a woman? When you want to lose the strength you have".  Pythagorus, who we unfortunately remember for his Geometry, although much, much, more importantly he invented the musical scale that has been used for that last 2700 years...is just hammering home what Solomon said.

"A man dissipates his physical strength through ordinary incontinence" Gandhi and Bill Wilson both believed that misuse of sex weakens the body and thereby make you susceptible to illness. Think about it: After you masturbate do you feel strong, vibrant, masculine and resilient, like you could take on the world? Don't be like the horse or the mule...

"Life without celibacy appears to me to be insipid and animal like". This is the harshest thing Gandhi ever said. You may find it extreme. On the other hand, why is it he led hundreds of millions to freedom...and you have not? He may know something you don't understand, yet....just sayin'.

"Have mercy on me Lord, a sinner". This just helps to take a load of guilt or shame off and has the wonderful side-band of making you humble.

"Sister may no harm come to you from me". This is an extremely useful prayer, used every time you see a pretty girl and are tempted to do something that your wife would not approve of. It breaks the "bondage of self" because instead of "taking" (selfishly  and dishonestly objectifying) you are "giving". Remarkably simple and powerful.

"Cling to the Lord and cry out for mercy" This is an old religious adage, but when I am at the bottom of an acting out bottom this a beauty of a prayer to start my ascent.

"Celibacy, Service and Laughter" For me, these are my three highest goals. They present the very best part of me to the world when I pray this in my head...and carry it out with my body.

"Chastity is happiness" There is something nice about walking through the world, which is half-populated with women, many who are beautiful and attractive...and being impervious.

"Chastity is contentment" An addict's brain is rife with an attitude of self-pity, but right beneath that is an attitude of mercilessly demanding perfectionism. There is something uniquely satisfying about surrendering all sex for a finite period...which makes the very real human need for contentment within reach.

"Chastity is peace" There's something that relieves all that longing for women who are better looking than you, who you will never have a chance with, who you have masturbated to, time after time, in a revery of fantastical sexually impossible dreams that only leave you feeling "pitifully and incomprehensibly demoralized" afterwards...and that is complete surrender. In that chaste moment...there is sexual peace. Because, finally, knowing your soul...brings peace.

Gifts of Chastity List Part One

What a blessing it is to be chaste.

I “recreate” myself, which means to:

refreshen
recharge
revive
regenerate
rejuvenate
renew
repair
restore
resuscitate
revitalise

Gifts of Chastity List Part Two

“In brahmacharya lies the protection of the body the mind and the soul” Gandhi

When chaste I feel:

More resilient socially

More energetic

More athletic

Have a purer, more serene mind

Am more attentive to business

More intuitively in touch with my Higher Power

Stronger

More artistic

More fun loving