PoM 62
My next to highest need, before peace of mind, is creativity.
As Otto Rank would say Music puts me in a “second super-real world”…exactly like my son when he is playing in his imaginary world.
That’s why we get along so well together…we understand each other.
PoM 63
When I am feeling unsafe, the very last thing I need to be doing is being open to physical intimacy.
That would be a total self-betrayal…
PoM 64
New opening line for my musical act:
“Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve suffered for my music…now it’s your turn”.
PoM 65
Watched a movie about luck and had a dream about Sexaholics Anonymous last night.
They wanted me to be a regional representative for them at an international conference, which I had done for SAA in 2004.
I explained that, like when Food Addicts Anonymous left Overeaters Anonymous, they weren’t angry…they just didn’t need them anymore.
But, when I look back at some of the things I have done, and didn’t get caught…I was very lucky.
PoM 66
As recovery moved from sex addiction to food addiction, it finally dawned on me that the emphasis on chastity might move to fasting…
Duh! It only took 4 years to figure that out.
Last week and this week, when we shot videos my bass player and wife feasted, while I fasted.
I found it I was so much more on my game.
Recovery changes…
PoM 67
I am feeling pretty peaceful with myself.
Exercise, food, weight, writing, music, fasting and finite chastity are really working for me…three hours at a time.
PoM 68
Ran 9 miles today.
It took 2 1/2 hours…that is grandma time.
But I felt thrilled at the novelty and health of it all.
Thank you God…I know you approve.
PoM 69
Workaholics Anonymous proposes a spiritual aspiration “unstructured events without goals”.
When I worked with John Cage 45 years ago he used to call it “purposeful purposeless”.
I just call it “fun”…it’s briefer.
PoM 70
I was able to reach peace of mind when I ran 9 miles yesterday, at 7.75 miles, when I was chanting “fasting is as necessary as selection and restriction in diet”.
I was able to reach peace of mind lying in bed this morning chanting “easy does it”.
But, in both cases it wasn’t until I just shut up, and just stopped praying, that I could access my soul.
New slogan: “Shut up…and feel your soul”