PoM 45

I am so grateful for three gifts that I give myself when I am in conflict with another person:

First, the gift of chastity, which gives me social resilience.

Secondly, the gift of fasting, as it helps keep my mind focused.

Thirdly, the gift of prayer, as it directs my then focused mind to a positive, healthful…and even funny, place.

…and you can’t laugh and be angry at the same time.

PoM 46

A letter to the leader of AAA.

On visiting Catholic Monks:

From 1982-2002 I spent several days a week at The Monastery of the Holy Spirit in Atlanta. That’s where I got the structure of six times a day for PrayerCall. Of all the people I have ever met in 66 years, the two that were the best humans I have ever known were Catholic monks.

I knew dozens of other monks. Many were depressed, had food or family of origin problems and were just fleeing life in a monastery.

But, the ones that were motivated by loving God were the most gentle, kind, strong, passionate and funny men I have ever known.

I wasn’t very well then, but they loved me very much…and I will never forget them.

PoM 47

HP,

I am grateful for learning to pray at dinner, before going to bed and memorizing the Lord’s Prayer as a child.

The content may not have meant much then, but the structure was helpful, so that when I feel scared…I know what to do.

PoM 48

These are my needs:
Physical
Safety
Acceptance
Esteem
Prayer
Service
Contentment
Creativity
Peace 

PoM 49

After a conversation on the character defect of overreacting:

My mother used every tool she could think of to stop me from becoming a professional musician and to only do it as a hobby.

I felt incredibly hurt and betrayed by her.

But, I overreacted…

From 13 to 17 years old I was a professional musician…I have my very first dollar on the Spring of 1968 hanging on my wall when I was in 8th grade playing in nightclubs till 3:00am to prove it.

But after that the composer in me started to develop,  at 17 , I didn’t want to do what was necessary to be a successful commercial musician…I hated it actually.

My mother intensely wanted me to be a lawyer.

My overreaction to that was I never stopped to ask myself, “Are you content, after 17, being a commercial musician?

I never stopped to ask myself, “Do you esteem yourself as a commercial musician?”

I never stopped to ask myself, “ Are you financially safe as a performing musician?”

Instead, believing that I could get my needs for creativity, love and belonging and peace of mind needs met, if I just got good enough, I fought my mother with everything I had.

My mother made a huge, huge mistake… But I overreacted.

Can’t be at peace…when I’m at war with me

PoM 50

In sex addiction recovery there’s Inner Circle, which means things you don’t do, Middle Circle, things you avoid so you don’t get to your Inner Circle, and then there’s Outer Circle…Things that are fun that you get to do because you’re sober.

Probably the biggest advocate of Outer Circle that I know, is our own Jeff D., who leads the 9:00 am.

He is an extreme mountain cyclist… Ask him about it sometime.

My Outer Circle is simply playing the guitar.

When I sit down with my guitar I always feel a wonderful, light feeling. That feeling is hope. 

It is the hope that I will get better.

All my pain and problems are gone, I feel hope and…and I am at peace.