PoM 346
My brother and I began, gently, tenderly and slowly discussing mental illness, at his initiation.
Being an alcoholic, I first remembered the line in the AA 12x12 page “Some will be willing to term themselves “ problem drinkers” but cannot endure the suggestion that they are in fact mentally ill”. I simply denied this when I first read it…because I “couldn’t endure this”.
Secondly, I remember in 1999 when the US Surgeon General, for the first time, issued a report on mental health and stated that alcoholism was a form of mental illness…I was 13 years sober and clean at the time and felt a little shell-shocked.
Thirdly, I remember a brilliant psychotherapist in 1988, who had been stripped of his license for his sexual behavior with his clients, saying “It is a thought disorder”.
Finally, I recalled from AA that it is how you live your life that causes you to drink, and that if I masturbate 30 minutes a day, and can’t stop, that that is only 2% of your day, and therefore, 98% of the problem is mental, as AA theory suggests.
We both agreed that the CDC, the National Institute of Mental Health and the Mayo Clinic were people who were not “in it to increase their income”, and could be trusted with accurate information.
In their describing the 1999 US Surgeon General findings NIMH says: The report defines the term “mental health” as “the successful performance of mental function, resulting in productive activities, fulfilling relationships with other people, and the ability to adapt to change and to cope with adversity”.
If I am drinking, taking pills, smoking cigarettes, masturbating or am seriously overweight…let’s leave caffeine out for now because we don’t want a riot on our hands…and I am using these things to cope, then I am addicted and, accordingly, mentally ill.
A word of humility is necessary here. 12 Step believes that through talk therapy (meetings, sponsorship, outreach calls and step work) that any and all of these behaviors can be arrested. The group All Addictions Anonymous is an example of this, but…
It is important to recognize our limits. That is what humility is.
I have a dearly loved friend who suffers from serious depression. While she has utilized 12 step tools, she finds it helpful and healthful to use doctor prescribed medication for her depression.
At PrayerCall, at a certain point in the progression of the disease of addiction, we recommend that you go to inpatient treatment, because you are beyond what we are able to do.
OA and FA did not learn this lesson with two tragic results. We must maintain the humility of what our limits are.
So, is addiction mental illness?
The NIMH makes a functional distinction:
•Any mental illness (AMI) is defined as a mental, behavioral, or emotional disorder. and can vary in impact, ranging from no impairment to mild, moderate, and even severe impairment
•Serious mental illness (SMI) is defined as a mental, behavioral, or emotional disorder resulting in serious functional impairment, which substantially interferes with or limits one or more major life activities.
Yes…it is.
But, if you do not have serious mental illness, we have the tools, if you are willing, and work very hard to arrest it…one day, three hours at a time.
PoM 347
A Sloth is the slowest mammal on earth and moves about 100 feet in a day.
It takes a Sloth two weeks to digest a meal, so sloths evolved not by eating more…but doing less.
Now that is a food plan…
PoM 348
Steps Six and Seven are called the “Forgotten Steps" because there is only one paragraph apiece written about them in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
I was interested in working on steps six and seven and God sent me an opportunity.
My brother and I spoke this morning and we talked about mental illness.
He stopped the conversation abruptly when the topic veered towards childhood abuse.
I felt hurt…and wondered why.
When I am telling my sexual abuse truth, and someone does not want to hear it, I can get triggered into my Adult Children of Alcoholics defects, remembering my own father’s denial about his sexual abuse of me.
I am entirely ready to have God remove this defects of my character…And I humbly ask him to do so.
Turns out God wanted me to solve this myself, so why does "In brahmacharya lies the protection of the body, mind and soul work?
When I am in conflict with someone my need for safety, love and belonging, and esteem of others, which has being met with friendly conversation, instantly stops.
The other person feels threatened and he’s protecting himself.
If at that moment, I can stop and remember that I am chaste, I can replace the “esteem of others” with “ self-esteem”, and go on in the conversation…without missing a beat.
Be careful what you ask for…what is the dog gonna do when he catches the car?
PoM 349
I heard a brilliant share yesterday in an exposition of “Meeting the need for creativity”.
The most fascinating line that the person shared ,for me, was that their physical exercise directly affected their ability to meet their need for creativity.
That is brilliantly simple.
If I’m going to be creative… I have to do it with my body. The better shape my body is in, the more likely I will be able to express that creativity.
PoM 350
I spent 7.25 hours producing a new avant-garde composition…And not one minute practicing my guitar.
I feel out of balance and cranky.
I can do better than that…
PoM 351
As a workaholic I do not think of myself as having a character defect of slothfulness… But I do.
When my wife got pregnant three years ago, we began to sleep a lot. I was having “sympathy pains“, but after our son was born, we continued.
Three weeks ago I started getting up very, very early, typically 4 AM, which, according to Coltrane and Gandhi is the “hour of meditation”.
I am so much more productive and so, so grateful…Chastity is King.
PoM 352
My wife and I are on day 18 of chastity.
There is something my wife wants very much, and I do, too.
She wants me to stand up straighter.
I have a “hunch” as the Big Book says, that I could cobble together enough techniques from various disciplines to solve this problem…I have solved other more recondite problems than this.
I asked her if she was interested in, openly, doing some chastity, while I worked on this.
She is mulling it over…