PoM Office 28
I will be 67 next month.
Much of what I have feared in my life was aging was not actually aging, but simply self-destructive living.
Since I got sober from alcohol I have been running regularly, 5 miles at a time…I just like the number 5.
I have never timed it, only measured the distance, until 6 months ago.
Honestly, when I saw the numbers, I felt angry and pretty nearly discouraged.
The best medical advice I ever got was “ There’s nothing wrong with you that diet and exercise won’t cure”.
So, today I changed my run to 5K (which is 3.1 miles) and I found…that I am actually running faster than 16-19 year olds.
I feel my need for contentment, self-esteem, joy and peace of mind met.
This plan of recovery really does work.
PoM Office 29
With the exception of counting 75 breaths today, I had no peace of mind.
I was acting like a young Al-anon newlywed, with not one whit of recovery, trying to solve all my problems, in one day.
I can do better than that…
I have done my part (and a platoon of other people’s, probably).
I will surrender the rest to God.
PS: I recovered my peace later that night, through yoga.
PoM Office 30
There is a story in the third edition of the Big Book called “The Cost of Sobriety”, where a sailor puts pen to paper to see exactly what his alcoholism had cost him.
I thought of that story tonight when I began writing on the new Peace of Mind book.
Our landlord is demanding $5184 in 45 days or he will evict us, because he refuses to cooperate with the State government.
$5184/45 days = $115.20/per day
Is peace of mind worth $115.20/day?
Sure it is…pay the man, Steve.
PoM Office 31
Step 10 for an hour.
I woke up with a resentment, because I wouldn’t own my part in a hurt last night.
No peace of mind here…
If I am angry with one person, it’s probably them. Two people it might be them.
Three…it’s definitely me.
I made my amends, and it lightened up, but persisted.
As I inventoried, I was angry at myself, because two days ago my body scale started to break, it gave me wrong information, and I made a food plan based on bad numbers.
But, I was angry at myself for that mistake.
I feel foolish and laughing at myself now.
I really love my food plan and my exercise plan.
…and my mind is peaceful again.
PoM 32
Someone gave me poignant and beautiful complement during PrayerCall today.
I have learned to accept compliments at Adult Children of Alcoholics meetings, so I am thankful.
That being said, I need to distinguish something: I am the hose…not the water.
Five years ago, Ray J. said something out loud that everybody was thinking…but nobody would say:
Steve,
- God has anointed you to do a work for the sick
- We need to get it all down on a website, or a book, before you die.
That’s why we now have the website ActWithCourage.
Igor Stravinsky, the great Russian classical composer who, arguably, wrote the best piece of classical music in the 20th century, the “Rite of Spring”, said something about humility that I really like:
“I take no pride in my artistic talents; they are God-given and I see absolutely no reason to become puffed up over something that one has received.”
Tell ‘Em Igor.