PoM 171
Self-Forgiveness:
I am angry with myself this morning.
In the last three weeks I have done three half marathons.
I have never done that much cardio in my life and I have no experience with this.
What I find is that the recovery time is about three days.
What I did not know is that I fall into inertia on the fourth day. It’s plain sloth, nothing more.
I forgive myself for my ignorance and I ask God to remove my defect of character of sloth.
Besides…it was real fun to run that long.
PoM 172
Distress-anguish, suffering, pain, agony.
Eustress-positive response to stress which is healthy.
Jessie Jackson used to say “It’s my attitude, rather than my aptitude, that determines my altitude.”
PoM 173
“Do you want to do mankind a real service?”
…”Tell better jokes”
Stardust Memories
PoM 174
‘Round Midnight, as Thelonius Monk would say, I felt an urge to do something addictive.
Nothing specific, anything would do, really.
There was nothing really wrong.
But, I heard the child within me say not to do it…And I didn’t.
I realized later that I was angry with someone.
As I “spot check inventoried” it, I realized I had “put myself in a position to be hurt”.
It was my fault. I decided not to do that again…and the anger subsided.
PoM 175
Once I stop acting out on anything…I am stuck with my mind.
Is it really true I am powerless over my own mind’s thoughts, just as I am powerless over stopping drinking, once I start?
Isn’t free association of thoughts the very modus operandi of creativity?
Or is the inability to control my thoughts the very definition of insanity?
And isn’t that true of everyone on the earth?
Does it logically follow that everyone on earth is insane?
Or…
Or is the need for complete control of my thoughts indicative of someone who is fearful and negative?
As usual, but as equal unfamiliarly, I need to be in the middle.
Sometimes, I need the intense mental discipline of a monk and sometimes I need the freedom to follow my intuition, like an artist.