PoM 140
I am so grateful to be abstinent from food.
I didn’t like it when my stomach pooched out or I had baby minature-ette love handles.
I am really patient with myself when I weigh more than I would like…but I would rather be thin.
HP, help me to remember what I don’t like.
PoM 141
My mind, slowly and disciplinedly, becomes filled with musical tones instead of my own worried thoughts.
I like my mind better now…the same way I like my body better when it is thin and vigorous.
PoM 142
In response to a text from a woman I did Ninth Step with three months ago;
A man who has sex with 300 women is not someone who’s enjoying himself…It’s a man who running from something.
When you’re sexually abused as a child you have one of two responses:
You can be so frightened of sex that you become anorexic. That’s what my second wife did.
A more common response is “Bring it on…I’ll show you”. It is bravado. It is a desire never to be hurt that way again. It is a desire for control.
PoM 143
In response to a question into the possibility of being addicted to exercise:
“The man who fears God will avoid all extremes.”
Ecclesiastes
The Mayo Clinic and the CDC (Center for Disease Control) both recommend 30 minutes of moderate cardiovascular exercise, five days a week, plus two days of strength exercises…As a minimum for, just average health.
That’s for people in their early 20s to the people in their 90s.
If I’m not doing that minimum, I am in below average health.
Even at “grandmas speed” I can do 3 miles in 30 minutes.
Ask yourself “Am I doing at least the minimum amount of exercise?”
Why not?
PoM 144
I have to be careful about the people I listen to in recovery.
It’s easy for me to listen to someone that suggests something slothful, or rationalizes addict behavior.
I can get into a seven-year-old-sibling-rivalry mentality. “Well he can do it… Why can’t I?”
PoM 145
Baloney talk:
I was standing in front of Walgreens with Gummy, waiting on my wife, across the street from Starbucks Reserve, which is a Starbucks designed and decorated it like a sexy, downtown business bar.
A good looking forty year old Italian man, dressed in Armani and Gucci sauntered in to get a Latte.
I honestly felt envious.
He could “handle his high”.
But what I remember from the Big Book was “I am bodily and mentally different from my fellows”
…And I felt peace again.