Chastity Offices 222
Fantasy is imagining being sexual with someone or replaying previous sexual memories…and both assault my character.
My mind become weak, porous and vulnerable to other negative thinking.
When I allow that, other addictions start to leak in, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.
Where do I draw a line in the sand and say “No more!”.
When I do see my self-destruction I can use prayer to “Change my mind”.
Most often prayer is thought of as supplication: “Please God, give me this or that”.
Sometimes prayer is used to be grateful, thankful or to acknowledge God.
12 Step teaches “Prayer does not change God…it changes me”.
If I am doing something addictive, like fantasizing, I can simply pray the first three steps, as a prayer, and it will change me.
Then, I can get back, and with an attitude shift, I can enjoy the life God has given me.
Chastity Offices 223
“We were reborn”
Big Book p63
What if you could start your life all over again…knowing what you know now?
AA says you can. It promises that to alcoholics who stop drinking.
Don’t you think that is true of us as well?
Perhaps, even more so.
AA teaches that the three things that cause us to drink are resentments, fears and selfish sex.
But, the truth is that, in actual practice, AA is noticeably silent on the specifics of sex.
If you don’t think that is true, go into any AA meeting in the world, and start “ getting honest” about your masturbation.
And yet, God promises alcoholics a life that is “reborn”.
How much more true for those of us willing to let go of all sex “ for a finite period”?
It’s a nice feeling to be reborn at 68.
Chastity Offices 224
Intrigue is middle circle. It is a “Yellow light” that cautions me that I am headed for a “Red Light”.
I am clear that sexualizing conversations with a woman (I am a straight male) is middle circle.
But, just having proximity to certain people can be dicey.
If I am feeling “ sexual energy” around someone I need to question my motive.
Do I have a legitimate reason for contact, or am I getting a “Hit”?
I love what the Sexaholics say “If you don’t know whether or not what you are doing sexually is okay…ask your wife”.
Chastity Offices 225
I asked my wife nearly a year ago if we could start over in our relationship and she said “No”.
But, we have nonetheless started relating to each other in a completely new way: Perfectly chastely, deeply boundaried and focused exclusively on raising our son.
Gandhi is right “Suffice it to say that with the gradual disappearance in me of the carnal appetite, my domestic life became and is becoming more and more peaceful, sweet, and happy.”
Who knew?
Chastity Offices 226
It’s funny what God does.
If I let go of people that are not good for me, I always feel afraid of being alone.
But, the truth is that God fills that empty space with someone better for me.
I let go of someone recently and today, at 6:30 in the morning, God sent me an old friend who strives for “Absolute Purity” in his life, in all areas.
It’s funny what God does.
Chastity Offices 227
The two most unselfish men I have ever known were monks.
It took me 10 years to figure out why:
Was it their five public prayers per day?
Was it the pastoral setting they lived in away from “ The world”?
Was it their religion?
Nope…it was their Chastity.
I know a guy like that right now.
He’s not living in a monastery, but he has been chaste for seven years.
It ain’t the prayers, the bucolic setting or religion…It’s plain, simple Chastity.
Gandhi says that “ It is the highest spiritual goal and so it is not surprising that it requires the greatest spiritual effort”.
Ask yourself “Is it true that Selfishness-self centeredness. That, we think, is the root of our troubles”? As the Big Book states?
I ask myself, one day at a time, how much am I willing to sacrifice to be unselfish for Him?