At ActWithCourage.com we find a "Withdrawal period" from all sex, very helpful. That means a minimum of 60 days of no genital contact with myself or others.

Warning: I accept that I will be angry all my life as a celibate man.

Contrary to what the 12 Step Programs espouse, with a chosen "finite period" of chastity there, instantly, becomes available...power.

Now this only is true if you have done the work with powerlessness first, and in no way does it imply, or infer, in any way, that you can go back and do the things you know you are honestly powerless over. If you are still confused about drugs or alcohol, please leave this site now and call AA...they are the best people to help you.

Chastity Office 1

The Seven Steps of Celibacy:

1) I accept that there is power in me

2) I sing, discipline my body, pray and meditate…everyday

3) I feel all my feelings...and share them where it is wise to

4) I am open to feedback from trustworthy people

5) I confront and set boundaries with others

6) I accept my limits

7) I laugh

If you can persevere this "Pathway to peace", for 60 days, you will find the following Promises coming true:

The Celibate Promises:

1)) We will be more available to our children

2) We will be more present and productive at work.

3) We will become stronger and more supple.

4) Our financial situations will clear up.

5) Our artistic and “spiritual” aspirations will be realized.

6) Self draining sexual/romantic relationships will suddenly wither and die

7) We will have more clarity, intuition and personal power.

8) We will have more fun.

9) We will finally...relax

 

If you practice these Seven Steps, your needs will get met, perhaps for the first time in your life:

Chastity Office 2

God, help me to

  • Stay in touch with my feelings
  • Set boundaries with those who are harmful
  • Announce limits so as not to harm myself.

Help keep me emotionally healthy by meeting my needs for:

  • Safety
  • Love and belonging
  • Esteem of others
  • Self-esteem

To fully actualize, or realize myself, help me meet my needs for:

  • Near constant Prayer
  • Self-transcendence through Service
  • Spirituality through connectedness, originally with God, then others, and finally, lastingly and constantly, with myself
  • Contentment through realization of my highest, realistically attainable goal
  • Creativity through creating beauty for the joy of it
  • Peace of mind through knowing my soul

 

The following slogans, while practicing chastity, turn out to be God's Will:

Chastity Office 3 

I will:

Laugh at myself

Believe that I will get better

Trust God

Serve others

Have a positive attitude

Smile

Forgive myself

Pray

Read spiritual literature

Exercise

Forgive others

Manage my money

Relax

Do nothing

Have fun

Be aware of my food

Be conscious of my sexual choices

Announce limits

Grieve losses

Set boundaries

Accept reality

Feel my feelings

Meet my needs

Be self-restrained

Enjoy my choices

Share with others

Persevere

Connect

Practice self-discipline

Rejoice

 

Chastity Office 4

"To achieve chastity, be prepared to lose everything. Chastity is a ravaging force to which nothing seems sacred or inviolate. It rips to shreds the structures and foundations I built in weakness and ignorance."
The Courage to Heal

Here are some slogans to use, when practicing chastity, to help stay strong through each three hours, one day at a time:

"Talk doesn't cook rice."
DOH,DOJ

“There are those who choose to live like eunuchs to know the kingdom of heaven. If you can accept it, accept it”.
 Matthew 19:11:

"Acceptance is being positive."
Anonymous

"I surrender my right to be sexual."
Anonymous

“Do not give your strength to women, your vigor to those who ruin kings."
Solomon

“Keep a path far from her, lest you give your best strength to others”.
Solomon

“When should you have sex with a woman? When you want to lose the strength you have”.
Pythagorus:

“A man dissipates his physical strength through ordinary incontinence”.
Gandhi

"Control of the palate is the first essential in the observation of the vow."
Gandhi

“Life without celibacy appears to me to be insipid and animal like”.
Gandhi

“We did not squander our energy on addictive acting out, in spite of severe temptations to do so”.
SLAA

 

Chastity Office 5

Chastity is not something you want to do for the rest of your life, unless you are a professional priest or monk, but, you also don't want to miss this illuminative experience for yourself.

"For some of us, however, there is no passage to life, only from one stage of dying to another. Too few lessons have been learned, too little wisdom has been gained for the wound to heal. There is nothing natural or guaranteed about a springtime of the spirit."

"Behind every marvelous tale of death – left– behind is a common theme of peak moments. These peak moments may occur as long as we live. Or they may not. Perhaps we'd better make a decision someday sooner than tomorrow."

"Healthy living demands enough of a central focus that something gets finished once it gets started.  Lacking this we often return to fight the same battle once again."

 

Chastity Office 6

We have a slogan we use at ActWithCourage.com..."Chastity is King".

Honestly, I feel like a king when I practice chastity.

Here's the best description of being a King that I know of:

Psalm 21 Excerpt:

1 O LORD, the king rejoices in your strength. How great is his joy in the victories you give!

2 You have granted him the desire of his heart and have not withheld the request of his lips. "Selah"

3 You welcomed him with rich blessings and placed a crown of pure gold on his head.

4 He asked you for life, and you gave it to him--length of days, for ever and ever.

5 Through the victories you gave, his glory is great; you have bestowed on him splendor and majesty.

6 Surely you have granted him eternal blessings and made him glad with the joy of your presence.

7 For the king trusts in the LORD; through the unfailing love of the Most High he will not be shaken.

 

As difficult as a "Finite period" of chastity is there is even more giftedness available for this temporary effort:


Chastity Office #7…The Promises of Chastity

Efficient perceptions of reality…We have the ability to judge situations correctly and honestly. We are very sensitive to the dishonest. Rather than being fearful of things that are different or unknown, we are able to view things logically and rationally.

Comfortable acceptance of self and others...We accept ourselves and others as they are. We tend to lack inhibition, are able to enjoy ourselves, and live our lives guilt free. We accept, with humor and tolerance, our own human nature with all its flaws, the shortcomings of others, and the contradictions of the human condition. Other people are treated the same regardless of their background, race, culture, or socio-economic status.

Spontaneity…We extend our creativity into our everyday activities. We tend to be unusually alive, engaged and spontaneous. We follow generally accepted social expectations, but do not feel confined by these norms and are spontaneous in our internal thoughts and our external behaviors. We are open and unconventional.

Task centering…We are motivated by a strong sense of personal ethics and responsibility, applying our problem-solving skills to real-world situations and helping other people improve their own lives. Each of us has a mission, outside of ourselves, to pursue and fulfill in life.

Autonomy...We are free from reliance on external authorities or other people. We tend to be resourceful and independent. We do not conform to other people's ideas of happiness or contentment.

Continued freshness of appreciation…We constantly renew our appreciation of life's basic goodness. A sunset will be experienced as intensely, with the same wonder and awe, every time, as it was the first time. We live in the moment and appreciate the beauty of each experience.

Fellowship with humanity…We will feel a deep identification with others and the human situation in general and yet, we feel we are an important part of humanity.

Profound interpersonal relationships…Our interpersonal relationships are marked by deep loving bonds and we grieve appropriately with their closure.

Comfort with solitude…Despite our satisfying relationships with others, we value solitude and are comfortable being alone. It is essential for us to have time to focus on personal discovery and for cultivating our individual potential.

Non-hostile sense of humor…We have the wonderful capacity to laugh at ourselves and situations but do not shame others with this capacity.

Peak experiences…We have frequent occurrences of peak experiences. These experiences are marked by feelings of ecstasy, harmony, and deep meaning. We will feel at one with the universe, filled with its beauty and goodness, feeling simultaneously more powerful yet more helpless, feeling stronger yet more calm than ever before. Afterwards, we have the conviction that something extremely important and valuable has happened to us, so that we are transformed and strengthened in our daily lives by each such experience.

We have the gifts of...clarity, intuition, personal power in relationships, resilience and visions…