07-01-2026
I am getting improvement in my PMO Addiction after taking help from medical practitioner. My Main issue during Flatlines were Heavy Muscle Tension and Pain that happened around my Face and Upper Body. Now I am taking a muscle relaxant for that and It helps me so much during this times. I am now 7 Days sober from Porn, Masturbation Orgasm and I would Like to Do a step 1 on my PMO Addiction and how lapsing on Porn and mastubation has created a series of Unpleasant experiances in me in last 2+ months . The First step is accepting Powerlessness and I am accepting it and I will add my Step 1 Down.
Step 1 - I admit I am powerless over my sex addiction-that my life has become unmanageable.
Powerlessness:
1. How many times and in how many ways have I tried to stop or control my sex addiction?
I tried to watch it without any Limits like I thought controlling it make it even worse and believing that letting all the control go will help me overcome the addiction
I stopped using only porn but no mb but it failed miserably
I tried to stick to ai generated stuff thinking that whatever i see was not real
I tried creating ai stuff of my crushes and fantasies but cannot control escalation
2. How have I been dishonest with others and myself and how have I tried to hide these behaviors?
I was dishonest with my mother abt my pmo behaviour as i was watching it in my room and acting like nothinghappend in front of them living a double life making them feel upset and concerened abt myself and also blamed them for being worthless for not even finding ladies for me to have sex with
I tried to hide it by washing or bathing myself after a session thinking that it will cmofaulage me
I tried to use lamps or other meditative techniques portraying it as meditation instead of pmo lapsing
3. How have I tried to justify, rationalize or explain my behaviors to others and myself?
I told others that I have no marriage so i deserve porn or that i am like ugly looking or unable to get a women by money,fame or looks so i am already lost and deserve porn for that
Unmanageability:
How has my addiction affected the following aspects of my life?
. 1) My feelings?
I feel irritated, Restless, fickle minded, confused, distracted, dizzy, light headed, impulsice, angry
. 2) My physical/mental health?
I was physicaly weak with join pain and muscle pain and vision problems, along with depression imediately after a lapse
. 3) My spirituality?
I was not going to temples or reading spitual literature because i consider myself i know everyting about the situationa nd there is nothing more to improve as what i am doing by watching porn and lapsing is entirely normal
. 4) My relationship with myself (integrity, self-respect and self-esteem)?
I feel low self respect and integrity bcause i was arguing things in opposite stands , like standing with the women side even when they are the problem makers just because i watch women in porn and all
. 5) My relationships with family and friends?
my relationship with mother become absolute nightmare, and friends i have none,
. 6) My finances/career/education?
money is going in ways i have no idea about and career is blank and emoty leaving any clues abt why i started certain decsions and stuff
Hitting Bottom - What specific event in my life has convinced me that I’ve hit bottom and that I cannot continue to live as I have been living?
my mother calls me "not men enough or wearing a mens clothing" which hurt me so much because yeah i know i was that much irritable to her for not being a man like person at the age of 28 so thats why maybe because she is sick as well with the life around her with no hope of progress. whatever it was so drastic for me
08-01-2026
Step 2 - Came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity.
If God is really who God claims to be, and can do what God claims God can do, then what I want to do is imagine what it would be like if I were actually restored to sanity.
How would my life look? I’m very specific.
I give God the benefit of the doubt, and let myself be creative with my hope.
What do I hope my life would look like if I were restored to sanity around?
. 1) My feelings?
I will have some sense of calm and contentmeent with lifes basic Provisions
I will feel more empowered and feel loved and respected by others
I will feel more present, clear, focused, enthusiastic, Motivational, Curious, Assertive, Manly.
. 2) My physical health/mental health?
My Lazyness will go away,
My Body and Muscles will get better and strong my bones will get better and strong
My Depresion and social anxiety will be cleared
. 3) My spirituality?
I will feel more connected to the universal driving force.
I will feel more spiritual connection with women and will start manifesting things and will see all sorts of Things happening in my Life by the Power of Desire
. 4) My relationship with myself (integrity, self-respect and self-esteem?
I will never be that guy who just shut down the door and secretly watch nudity behind curtains and then act like nothing happened and then goto work next morning
my self esteem will improve and that will attract more people around me because they can sense my stability
my neediness will go away and my paranoia will go away
. 5) My relationships with family and friends?
My mother will respecte me more and will congratulate me for staying chaste my broter as well
. 6) My finances/career/education?
I will attract more money as i will pray to dhankubera mantras to manifest money and by being knowledgable and attractive with magnetism i will attract good finacnial sources by just the power of desire
I will be able to complete my psycology disant degree and able to start as a psycologist profession before 30
my knowlege about everything including politics, cinema, psuchology, philosphy, history and everything around me will grow and increase day by day
10-01-2026
Step 3…and Step 3 and 1/2 - Made a decision to turn my will and life over to the care of God, as I understood God….and I do God’s Will.
Having become honest with my powerlessness and hopeful about my sanity, in steps One and Two, I then need to look at what is my part in being restored to sanity.
So, I look back at my Second Step listings of what I hope for in my life and make a list of three things to I’m willing to stop doing, and make a list of three things I am willing to start doing, that will help me realize the hopes I have for my life.
Examples of stopping: I am willing to stop masturbating, stop smoking and stop taking drugs.
Examples of starting: I am willing to start going to meetings every day, contacting my sponsor every day, and doing cardio five days a week.
3 Things I will start doing
I will start Exercising 10 minutes
I will start praying Mantras from sites
I will Start journaling daily
3 Things I will stop doing
I will stop masturbating
I will stop using Phone in color mode
I will stop using instagram
Step 3 1/2- I do God’s will.
After I’ve surrendered my life and will over to the care of God I then decide to do God’s will which is most clearly stated in the Slogans.
Here are few examples:
One Day At A Time
Be Gentle With Yourself
Live and Let Live
Be grateful
Keep It Simple
Easy Does It
Keep coming back
H.A.L.T (Don't get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired)
Take care of yourself
Let Go and Let God
Act with Courage
Be content
Just Breathe
Lighten Up
Three hours at a time
Choose three Slogans which speak to you and write out exactly how you are going to start doing God’s Will in your life.
Be Gentle with yourself
I will try my best to stop watching porn and masturbating and I will do everything to keep up my commitment. I will exercise and stay away from scoial media and all those stuff, But Ultimately i realise I am Powerless over my addiction which means I had a Traumatic Past which manifested as addiction. And there is a lot of ground work need to be done for my Recovery. Pushing too much on me and saying that I am old and there isno time left ands tuff like that to myself. Self Pitying all those I will try to calmy handle. I will never hurt myself for not havings high day counts or streaks but i prefer having them because i need sobriety,
Be Content
My equalising o sobreity with material progress is somewhat greedy in nature. I am so greedy nowadays and i need to lool after that. I need to be greatfull about things god gave me. i need to thank my Lord for All the things Lord gave instead of seeing my lord as a wholesale Machine that gives me everything i want, save me from every issues, Keep me completely free from evils and blaming my lord for the trauma and all those things have nothing to do with my Life. Acceptance of what i am my issues , my resnsbilities, my looks, my family, my caste, religion ,social status all comes for maintaining a sober life.
Keep coming back
I will keep coming back to the site and will do step work whenever necessary and continue my recovery Journey. i will attend nicotine annonymous meetings, debtors meetings and will continue seeking help for my porn addiction and thats how i believe my issues will be solved and i believe recovery is possible from nicotine, sex and love addiction and porn addiction. that day will come and i am wishing for that miracle to happen with the help of my lord.