Chastity Office 228
I have been experimenting the last six weeks with an old Gandhi trick…a Vow of Chastity.
It is brutally simple and incredibly hard to do.
But, I just went in my son’s room and saw his sweet sleeping face and said to him “I will not betray you…you can trust me”.
Amen
Chastity Office 229
There are a couple of new words in our language…Fattism and Fatphobia
The new Bible, the internet, says it means “hatred of fat people”.
12 Step says to:
Stay on your side of the street
Mind your own business
Keep the focus on yourself
Stay in your own hula hoop (my personal favorite)
Again, the all knowing Internet says, “obesity causes poor self-esteem”.
I don’t need anymore poor self-esteem, and I don’t want to hate anyone.
But, if my own poor self-esteem effects other things, like my ability to be chaste that’s something I need to consider.
The opposite of phobia is:
Contentedness
Bravery
Courageousness
Valor
God,
Help me be Courageous today…and stay in my own hula hoop.
Amen
Chastity Office 230
Very early in sex addiction recovery I was in a three hour conference with 90 sex addicts who spoke for two minutes apiece, each telling their story.
Everyone spoke of their childhood and everyone of them spoke of childhood abuse.
This was not like AA at all, as I had known it for eight years…this was a very different animal.
That gave me a self-compassion that I had not known, or needed, until then.
Today a woman from rural West Virginia called me and we spoke for an hour, in great detail, about her childhood sexual abuse.
I was very useful to her.
Chastity keeps my boundaries flawless so that I can be of maximum service to others.
Go well in this world, my sister.
Chastity Office 231
How do I HALT? I remember:
Easy does it
Take it easy…Everything will work out
Just breathe, surrender your thoughts and relax
Or, as Frank Zappa used to say, “Shut up and play your guitar”…
Chastity Office 232
Been going to a lot of Al-anon and O-anon the last 5 weeks and I have given my number out, selectively, when asked.
Occasionally, people follow up, through text or email asking for help.
Got one this morning…but it was an online pornographer.
If those people only knew how loudly they were barking up the wrong tree…
Chastity Office 233
I need some more humility.
In 12 Step humility is defined as “teachability”.
Gandhi practiced Chastity, within his marriage, for 40 years: he had no sponsor, meetings, or Steps. He simply was very careful with his food.
Gandhi was very spiritually gifted. Me? Not so much.
I will learn from his example.
Chastity Office 234
“Service is everything…All else is rubbish”
I went to the hallowed halls of Hendrix tonight, The Fillmore West, but, it meant nothing to me.
I worked with a woman on her childhood sexual abuse issues for more than an hour…and it meant a great deal to me.
“Service is everything…all else is rubbish”.
Chastity Office 235
God,
We all think you’re up there in the sky, watching everything we do, hoping you are feeling merciful.
We all think you have given us life and, on a good day, we try to be grateful.
I just want to say that I am grateful for your idea of the Sabbath where I don’t have to work hard for my money, or pay bills, just for today.
If you could just give me a nudge, from time to time, to lighten up and not “take myself too damned seriously” I sho’ would appreciate it.
Amen
Chastity Office 236
God can rope you into His will…if you let Him.
I have a perfect set up for Chastity:
- My wife hates me
- My son needs a mother
- I am too damned stubborn to act out
Do what you must God…to get me to bend to Your will.