Chastity Office 192
I have repeatedly asked my wife if she would like to do couples therapy on the incident where I requested a restraining order.
She quietly, but firmly, refuses.
I decided that, for me, I was going to do some therapy on this particular issue on, Tuesday January 24, 2023, because I believe that the healthier this family is, the better off my son will be, so I am going to try to heal the wounds, real or imagined, that I feel in this marriage, from this specific incident.
I thank God for the gift of chastity, and specifically for the Big Book’s admonition that sex is not to be used “selfishly or lightly”…so that I don't forget my own children’s welfare.
Postscript: Did the therapy and the therapist said “You have absolutely no business in therapy”, LOL…
Chastity Office 193
If you drink a lot of coffee, or eat a lot of food, or smoke a lot, and certainly if you drink a lot of beer, you will never notice this.
But, if you’ve been chaste for a long time it’s easy to forget why you started.
It’s easy to forget, and take for granted, that increased intuition that increases the quality of your own personal judgment in assessing relationships that are healthy for you…or not.
It’s easy to forget that your personal presence in relationships with your family have noticeably, if not occasionally, dramatically, improved.
It’s also very easy to forget the most obvious gift of Chastity which is increased clarity. You’re not stuck, trying to figure out relationships with your boss, or your teachers, and especially your wife and children….what a gift that is!
It’s easy to write off, devalue, and diminish the greatest gift of Chastity, which is social resilience. That means when somebody does something hurtful, or says something hurtful, it just rolls off your back and you don’t think about it for hours, or days.
But when you do remember these gifts… you can get real practical about sex.
What kind of sex is worth losing those four things?
Pornographic, gymnastic, endless sex with somebody who is so in love with you that they can’t get enough of you?
Or, manual sex with someone who’s just trying to get rid of you? (I am familiar with that).
What is the loss of Chastity worth in real, practical terms?
Again, if you’re deeply involved with other addictions you won’t notice this loss at all when you are orgasmic. This information will be like dusty hieroglyphics on an archeological tomb in terms of meaning and usefulness.
But, that doesn’t mean it’s not true and might be useful to you…someday.
Chastity Office 194
I am working with a man who is being chaste and attributes it to the Step work that we are doing.
He is tired and wants to stop.
I don’t push ropes and I don’t try to make the river go upstream.
The choice is his…
Chastity Office 195
God,
Help me to hold this precious gift of chastity.
I know it’s cost. I know it’s value.
Help me to please never forget these two things.
Help me to love my son with this abundance of purity you have blessed me with, one day, three hours at a time.
Amen
Chastity Office 196
God,
Some of my favorite heroes have been accused of “The cult of personality” (John Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Jr.)
Help that never be true of anything I try to do.
Help my modest and humble efforts to be a mere reflection of your law…your perfect law.
Amen
Chastity Office 197
Gandhi says “Religion without sacrifice means nothing”.
The most enlightened Christian priest I ever met said to me, “Steve you need a God with more torque than we have”.
That was stunningly frank.
Today, I need a God with the absolute most torque available.
Chastity, for me, is the greatest sacrifice I am possible of making.
I worship the God that hears chastity as a personal sacrifice to Him.
Be with me Lord.
Amen
Chastity Office 198
It started out as an unbelievable revelation of an unseen, unreached, unheard of, impossibly perfect sexual goal…”No sex except to create children”.
Then for a year it seemed so terribly strange that I didn’t want to tell anybody…old ACA fears of being ostracized.
There was also the fear that I couldn’t really do it…so I waited a year, to see if it was really possible.
Finally, there was the thought, in the back of my head, that my wife and I might come to some martial accord and end this process…but, that didn’t happen.
After a year of silence, I slowly and carefully began to talk about it and embrace it…It felt like a wire brush fiercely cleaning my brain, like spiritual Rotor-Rooter.
But now at 15 months…it is a source of comfort and joy…One day, three hours at a time.